So let’s start with the background I was 22 when I wrote this article and yet it is as relevant 2 years later as it was at the time.
Single is an altogether new experience for me, as soon as I could have a boyfriend I did have a boyfriend, and in fact did not stop having a boyfriend until very recently. This time, I thought to myself, things would be different. I would not settle for ‘alright’ the thought ‘but we’re such good friends’ would not cross my mind and most importantly this time I knew he definitely wouldn’t change. Sex in the City eat your heart out because I was going to have it all from outlandishly romantic dates to passionate uncomplicated sex with strangers. Reader, you may have already guessed it but this is not exactly what came my way, in fact I was thrown into a twilight zone known as singledom, attempting to traverse the vast chasms between what I, the single female, wanted and what he, the single male was willing to give.
Now to the outsider it would seem I live in an extremely privileged bubble, I have a lovely family and a tight knit group of friends however one key point separates me from them, they are all in stable and loving relationships. Why is this so terrible I hear you cry from the stalls? Is it merely that you are entrapped in a bitter cycle of man hate and self hate wishing destruction to all those around who dare feel this alien emotion also know as happiness? No. Quite simply no. No from the tops of sky scrapers and the bottom of the sea. I am quite happy to bumble along being surrounded by my gloriously infatuated friends and my oh-so-in-love parents, but it would seem that they are not so happy with this state to affairs. The crux of the issue is that I am not merely Amanda, not even Amanda our single friend, but Amanda our novelty single friend. I am the science project of people who should really know better. Everyone is suddenly the expert inundating me with advice for how to handle the 18 to 30 year old man and quite frankly a lot of its conflicting and most of its rubbish (I am thankful nonetheless). What gets me is the sheer quantity of technical terms that must be grasped; the one night stand, ‘seeing’ each other, fuck buddies, friends with benefits. After playing with these ideas extensively and researching them thoroughly I have come to a conclusion, they are merely all contrived Neanderthal-reminiscent concepts developed to get into our knickers no matter what the occasion but making the poor floundering female believe that it was something completely different. This probably didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out but in all honesty I was proud of my discovery and felt being single might not turn out to be the minefield I first envisaged. Again my naivety shone out like a beacon, why could I ever believe it could be that easy. Was it really such a mistake to bring him home? Would he really not respect me in the morning/do I really care? I couldn’t think of anything more ridiculous- surely the option of a relatively attractive girl putting out regularly for very little return was somewhat appealing? No? OK fine have it your way!
If ONLY men were simply in it for the sex, life would be a walk in the park (or a romp in the bushes if you’d prefer). So here is my last plea for some level of relationship where we can both be happy without me sleeping around excessively or having to get hitched… Single girl seeks single guy for fun, laughter, intelligent conversation and most importantly lots and lots of no strings sex!
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